I attended my first La Leche League meeting when Zinnia was a week old. I silently gaped at all the seasoned moms calmly discussing parenting techniques as they nursed babies of all ages. Some of the children were really tucking into their evening meal, but others were just “checking in;” breastfeeding was an intimate, nurturing bond that comforted them and made mother and child feel connected.

At Zinnia’s one week check-up, she showed a slight weight gain, which is almost unheard of, since most babies actually lose weight during their first week. I was one proud mama!

Like most new moms, the first two months hurt. A lot. I cringed at the thought of the next feeding. I was a slave to Lansinoh, the lanolin nipple cream that was supposed to smooth the way and ease the pain of cracked, tender, or otherwise harassed nipples that were relentlessly utilized every four hours or so.

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Every month it comes and goes, effecting women (and those around them) in their personal health, hormonally, emotionally and on a broader scale, in their environment.

Yes, I am talking about menstruation.

Menstruation is an issue that does pertain to both men and women. There is not an issue of menstruation itself, something that I feel should be celebrated, and not something taboo, uncomfortable, and feared. Unfortunately, there is an issue with the toxicity and disposability of the way women “take care of this problem”.

So, how is it relevant to men? If you have a women in your life, mother, sister, daughter, significant other, show them you care about their personal health by telling them about the consequences of using disposable products!

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Dragonfly, praying mantis, firefly, spider, oh my!

A video interview gives you a sneak peek. Quote from the vid: “The way bugs make love is…very pornographic.”

My daughter and I are drinking hot chocolate and making paper beads out of junk mail. And hey, it’s a perfect day for baking, but do we have everything we need to make cookies? I have zero motivation to shovel icy snowdrifts, and my sock monkey slippers are way too cozy, so forget a trip to the grocery store to pick up almonds or tahini butter.

A flip through my recipe cards reveals the perfect solution - chocolate chip cookies made with only four ingredients. Can you guess what they are?

I asked my daughter and she correctly guessed one of the correct ingredients. Then when she came up blank for the rest, she started calling out things like, “fairy dust!” “violets!” “rainbow powder!” As you can see, it gets pretty whimsical around here.

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Every morning I walk the neighborhood with a bag and pick up after litterbugs. I HAVE to. It’s one of my obsessions to pick up at least one piece of trash a day. Also it helps keep the neighborhood decent, like how Malcolm Gladwell points out in The Tipping Point.

There’s something called the Broken Windows theory - some behavior is stimulated by the environment. If people see trash lying around, they’ll feel it’s acceptable to contribute to the trash. Monkey see, monkey do. The theory is based on the premise that “an epidemic can be reversed by tinkering with the smallest details of the immediate environment.” So who knows, maybe picking up one bag of trash a day will help more than just superficially.

One of the benefits of trash patrol, besides getting exercise, finding pennies and dimes, indulging in my desire to multi-task, seeing which houses are for sale, checking out people’s gardens and holiday displays, taking in nature and fresh air, smelling people’s breakfasts and laundry, is I like spying on the neighbors and their habits. I am the SUPER SPY of the neighborhood.

I know about the family who eats Velveeta and Oreos, the woman who wears hairpieces, the family whose kid finally outgrew the Fisher Price Floor Gym.

There are a couple houses that always have more trash in their yard - a sure sign that they have no pride. And what’s with the house with fifty potted plants on the back porch? And how come I never see anyone in the yard that has the most STUFF in it - does he or she put out the wind chimes, pink flamingos, boats, driftwood sculptures, and rock gardens at night?

Most of the trash I pick up is of fast food or smoking nature. LOTS of White Castle and GPC and Kool cigarettes. And oh my god the water and soda bottles. I like spying on the receipts I find (Dr. Pepper, Chex Mix, and a Milky Way - dinner!) and notes from kids waiting for the bus (“Amber, OMG you scared me I thought you were Amanda out to stalk me!!!”)

And I wish the guy at the end of the street would stop tossing his spent lottery tickets on the street so that the whole neighborhood can see what a LOSER he is.

It’d be nice if a couple other people in the neighborhood would go on trash patrol too, or be in charge of their own yard, or, better yet, if people would quit throwing their trash out the window like monkeys flinging poo at the zoo.

But hey, we’re all monkeys. Check it out. And now I’m off for my walk.

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