You remember Carl Spackler, don’t you? The Bill Murray character from Caddyshack. The guy whose only goal in life was to get the gopher. No matter what he tried, he couldn’t. Because he knew. He knew that “a varmit will never quite - ever. They’re like the Viet Cong - Varmint Cong.”

Okay, let’s back up. Late last year, I read Barbara Kingsolver’s Animal, Vegetable, Miracle. Up until then, I had been focusing a lot on energy conservation and recycling. But Kingsolver’s book opened my eyes to the importance that food plays in sustainability. I got excited and couldn’t wait for the spring so I could plant an organic garden.

In April, my kindergartener and I planted seeds in yogurt cups and nurtured them while they grew on the window sill. In May, my husband (with a broken arm) tilled a plot in the back yard. My family loaded up garbage cans full of compost from a local department of public works and dumped it into the garden. I bought organic plant food from the farmer’s market. We planted four kinds of tomatoes, carrots, peppers, eggplant, green beans, and a variety of herbs. Then we waited, lovingly weeding and watering and watching.

Then came the varmints. First they got the carrots. I didn’t freak. I knew carrots were a risk with all the rabbits we have in the backyard. Then they got my cilantro. Next went the green beans and every single flower on the eggplants. I tried various natural critter control. None of it worked. I even planted marigolds that are supposed to repel the bunnies. The bunnies ate them. They invited their friends the squirrels and chipmunks to the party, too.

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