Green Options

If you’ve often wondered why there are so darn many September and October babies in your kids’ classes, it’s because the winter, particularly the holiday season, is prime baby making time. With no reason to go outside in the miserable cold, and lots of holiday parties with some pretty potent eggnog and champagne, it seems as though parents find another way to keep themselves pleasantly occupied.

So combine a little [...]

Whether it is a pet or a family member, one of the toughest things to deal with as a parent is death.  We’ve lost two dogs and a dear friend, who was the father of my daughter’s good friend, and last weekend, my grandmother died.  Although my children had only met her a handful of times, my grief and loss was shared with my children.  I can’t hide in the closet and cry.

I have always been honest with my children, and I want them to view death as naturally as they consider birth.  It is a celebration of life.  At times, it is relief to have young children around to hold and hug.  At other times, children complicate the picture with their needs which forces a parent to push their grief aside.  One of the most healing activities in our family is to share memories of the loved one who has gone on to the next life.

Birth control has become an important issue for woman’s rights as well as the environment. However, a survey of South Korean women age 19-34 found 45% believe contraception should be a man’s responsibility.

The survey, by the Study Group for Contraception, shows that most women are doing little or nothing to avoid unwanted pregnancies. Of the 1000 women who participated in the survey, one in five said she relied on coitus interruptus or timing pregnancy cycles as a form of birth control. Both methods have high failure rates of around 25%.

What’s more, abortion is illegal in South Korea, except under extenuating circumstances. The result is an almost entirely first-world country where each year hundreds of thousands of women practice illegal abortions at “don’t ask don’t tell” clinics.

Birth, a play by Karen Brody, is the story of eight mothers’ experiences giving birth.  It has been called “The Vagina Monologues for birth,” by Dr. Christiane Northrup, and the play is part of BOLD (Birth on Labor Day), a global arts-based movement aspiring to create childbirth choices for mothers around the world. The play will be performed throughout the month of September, informing the public “how low-risk, educated women are giving birth today”.

The birth of our second daughter was a lesson in patience, teaching me the lesson that all things in life happen in their in their own good time. And that we, for the most part, have little control over many facets in our lives. Waiting, relaxing, and letting things happen naturally are not things I am generally very good at.

You see, Elly was late. True to form of what would be her later personality, Elly just wasn’t ready to come into the world yet. And when I explain that she was one week late, people react that it was only one week. Even my midwife told me to relax and enjoy the last of my pregnancy.

But that was impossible. I was in labor for a week solid. Now don’t go calling it false labor, because if you would have said that during this time your life would have been in severe danger. There was nothing false about this labor.

It’s probably going against the grain to be talking about pain medication in a natural parenting blog, and one of the few writers this week that would probably advocate non-natural childbirth; but I always knew that epidural was going to be my drug of choice when the time came to give birth. Two distinct memories of labor and birth came from my mother and childhood best friend. I was three weeks overdue, and by the the time my mother delivered me; I was over ten pounds. She would regale in the horror of the labor and how terrified she was of her next birth, my brother. My best friend had a child right out of high school. I remember her telling me how it was the worst pain she had ever been in her life. With those two very painful experiences; I decided that I would DEFINITELY get an epidural, no doubt about it. I would always joke, first sign of contraction, I am rushing myself to the hospital so they could stick a needle in my back. Of course, I never expected to be induced either.

I waited a long time to have a child. Although I am only couple months shy of thirty; I am the last of my siblings, who are of rightful childbirthing age, to have a baby. My brothers would often ask me, when I would settle down and be a mother. I had no interest in settling down. I loved traveling and loved my life as a single girl in the city. However that changed when I met my baby’s father. Things progressed pretty quickly for us, and not even a year after we became a couple; I was pregnant. I suffered through the hell of first trimester, the bliss of second, and the ridiculous weight gain of third. We started laughing one night because my feet were SO swollen, they looked like Fred Flinstones. Then there was the waiting game. Waiting patiently for my daughter to make her entrance into the world. Eight days past her due date, and still no sign of our daughter; an induction was scheduled. Although I had always planned for an epidural; the induction didn’t play into the equation. I tried everything from sex to chocolates to induce naturally. No avail, on April 1st at 7:30 in the morning; we arrived at Moses Taylor Hospital in Scranton, PA with my trusty pillow.

Until my first daughter Carly was born by an ER-style emergency c-section, I had never been to the hospital except for the couple of times with minor injuries as a small child. The experience was so extraordinarily shocking to my system that it catapulted me into a determination that my next delivery would be VERY different. The birth of Carly, was traumatizing on so many levels. That I was only 21 and relatively immature and inexperienced probably didn’t help. I had wanted her very much and did everything to prepare, but like most of the cliches you hear about becoming a mother for the first time - nothing could have prepared me, especially for the frightening, dangerous, surgical birth.

After going through a rough post-partum depression, my reaction was to get pregnant again pretty quickly and immerse myself in research so that I could be more empowered the next time. I had been shocked into a state of alertness about my body and had a strong intuitive knowledge my next baby and I didn’t need to go through this same situation again.

I had done my homework and knew that what happened with Carly and I was unusual and not likely to repeat itself. I also learned everything I could about VBACs (Vaginal Birth After Cesereans). If my doctor had done a good job of patching me back together, and I believe that she had, my uterus and I stood a good chance of having the strength to give birth naturally.

Any mother knows, birthing a child is a labor of love. Inspired by a discussion amongst the writers on Eco Child’s Play about our births and the safety of home births in particular, we decided to share our labor experiences with our readers. One of the things we hold in common as eco parents is our desire for a natural birth, however, we may not always experience the birth we envisioned. From VBACS to home water births, our experiences are diverse, and we want to share them with you. We believe what is important about birth is that parents are given an educated choice about how and where their baby is born, as well as be flexible to deal with any medical issues that arise.

We don’t only want to tell our birth stories; we want to hear your stories too! As a pregnant woman, I could not read or hear enough women’s birth stories, because they were all unique and different. The experience is not the same for any two women. By sharing our stories, we hope to build a community of parents who can support and share with one another. Therefore, we are hosting a Labor of Love contest!