I recently persuaded her to try a few organic products and, low and behold, she has been very pleased with the results. So … here are a few tips to getting your parents, friends, mother-in-laws and other skeptics to slowly embrace healthy alternatives.

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1. Grab a cup of Fair Trade coffee, tea, hot cocoa or wine with a friend and start a discussion.

2. Give a Fair Trade gift and be sure to include a bit of information about the artisans who work hard to make it.

3. Bring some Fair Trade coffee to your office, school, church or social gathering with some information on Fair Trade. If you’re looking to make a permanent change, use some of the petitions and templates provided to get your organization to make the switch, and then join Co-op America’s Fair Trade Alliance.

4. If you are a student, grab some friends and join or create a campus organization with the United Students for Fair Trade.

5. Make a Fair Trade goodie: from banana bread to chocolate cake, there are plenty of delicious recipes to incorporate Fair Trade products. Check out recipes from Transfair, the Fair Trade Cookbook, Divine Chocolate, or Equal Exchange. Enjoy your delicacies with some family, or give to a local bake sale with a bit of Fair Trade information.

6. Host your own film festival with TransFairs help. They provide the short DVD Fair Trade: The Story, as well as an action kit and discussion guidelines for other films. Or check out Black Gold for the story behind your morning brew.

7. Host a Fair Trade Party and choose from many different types of products. Try a product tasting from TransFair or Equal Exchange: both come with educational materials. A Greater Gift consignment deal lets you offer an array of crafts, and you can return what doesn’t sell. If you enjoy the party, consider becoming a consultant for Pachamama World. For a larger sale with your community, check out Ten Thousand Villages.

8. Present the Fair Trade model to a classroom or group.

9. Learn more with others. Use resources as foundation to open conversations.

10. Start a Fair Trade campaign with friends using OxFam’s toolkit, with action ranging from letter and email writing to hosting events and media coverage.

When talking with your friends and family, be open and candid with your conversations. The confusion between Fair Trade and the other fair trade, and the propaganda surrounding current free trade practices, can create conversations that are both enlightening and engaging. Most of all, do not be intimidated: trade is a complex issue. However, there are many resources available such as the Fair Trade Action Guide (pdf), Co-op America’s Guide to Fair Trade (pdf) and many free resources from CRS.

A: I say stuff their tailpipes with potatoes and look menacingly at them. No, I’m only kidding. Your friends are probably really great people, and there are lots of great ways to encourage them to do well by the environment. It can even be fun.

Let’s imagine your neighbor and friend, Joe, has just bought a new, large truck that clearly has terrible MPG. Ecologically, it’s not a great purchase decision. Here are some scenarios of what will (and won’t) help Joe green up and strengthen your friendship.

Getting Aggro Gets Nowhere: Approach #1 Won’t Work

“Hi Joe, I noticed you got a new truck… overcompensating for something, buddy? What do you need something that size for? Hey, instead of contributing to the depletion of our natural resources, try impressing your wife with some consideration for our planet’s future, would ya?”

This approach doesn’t work, and it’s probably clear why. Joe’s proud of his new truck (and sensitive about the size of his jewels). What Joe sees is someone who’s using environmental issues as a chance to insult him. This approach is counterproductive. Joe ends up disliking environmental issues, resenting people he sees as "crazy environmentalists," and perhaps getting angry enough to purposefully make ecologically bad choices; you end up short a friend and frustrated that you’re not getting through.

Toast Them, Don’t Roast Them: Approach #2 Might Work Well

"Hi Joe, I like your new truck. It looks like a pretty good, solid vehicle; you must really care about your family’s safety on the road."

Even if you don’t really like his new truck, telling him so will only make him feel bad about having spent a huge chunk of money on it. This approach focuses on the positive and reassures Joe that we consider him a good guy and a good friend. Joe’s going to make decisions according to his own values, whether we like those decisions or not. The best thing to do is to appreciate the values behind those decisions and bond over your commonalities. It might not seem like you’re doing much, but you’re helping Joe to think about his purchases and actions in terms of his personal values. There’s just one more step to make—increased knowledge about the environment—before Joe is able to incorporate environmentally sound values into his own routine.

Ask, Don’t Tell: Approach #3 Might Work Well

"Hi Joe, maybe my kids could ride with yours to school next week and I’ll return the favor the week after. It’d sure be nice to give each other a break from having to wake up and drive around that early in the morning."

Telling Joe to mind his environmental P’s and Q’s is about as effective as spreading jam with chopsticks. Relating to him over shared values, and then asking him for a favor that embodies your environmental ethic is a much better way to get him to respond to your environmental values. Here, we get to relate to Joe over shared values—in this case, values of family, safety, and personal time. We are then able to talk about issues that matter to us (like avoiding unnecessary driving) by couching them in terms of these shared values (in this case, family, community, and personal time). Joe sees that we value less time on the road, and he appreciates this better because we’re asking and not telling.

Walk The Walk: Approach #4 Is A Must

Mahatma Gandhi famously advised us to “be the change we wish to see in the world.” I once heard a brief story about him in which he illustrates this principle.

A woman once approached Gandhi and asked that he tell her son to stop eating sugar, which she believed was bad for him. She explained that her son looked up to Gandhi, so he would listen to his advice. Gandhi agreed, but asked for a couple of weeks before he could talk with her son.

After several weeks, the woman brought her son back to Gandhi, who told him not to eat sugar. The woman thanked him, but asked why he had wanted to wait so long before talking with her son.

Gandhi explained that during the past two weeks, he had learned to stop eating sugar. He reasoned that if he was going to tell her son to stop eating sugar, first he should stop eating sugar as well.

We all know that actions speak louder than words. You’re an eco-superstar, and chances are you make a good number of your decisions with consideration for how they effect our shared environment. Joe (and the rest of us) could use your good example! By modeling your stellar green ideas and practices for others, you can act as an inspiration and a positive influence. Perhaps the most effective way to produce change in others is by demonstrating it in our own actions.

We can all use good examples, inspiration, and fresh ideas about how to show respect for the natural world we live in. Thank you for sharing yours.

Understanding The Issue

Your friends may not be the next Jane Goodall, Al Gore, or John Muir.
Nonetheless, they probably act based on certain core values that they
hold. Maybe they support local firefighters, spend time caring for
their families, or participate with their community group or religious
center. We in the environmental movement are motivated by a similar
sense of duty to our values about the Earth. Naturally, you have a
thing or two in common with your friends that allow you to relate well.
A good start to greening your buddies is to listen to and appreciate
what they do care about.

Additional Resources:

How To Go Green | Heart of Green

How To Green Your House | Lime

Teaching Environmental Issues and the Affective Domain | Carleton College

Teaching Personal Responsibility in Environmental Education | The Association for Environmental and Outdoor Education

Green Family Values: Environmental Education Curriculum | GO

Resources for Teaching Kids Green Habits | Suite 101

Green Living | Multnomah County Library

Photo Sources:

Bangui wind turbines: http://www.flickr.com/photos/cgines/417577578/
Day 49 - Successful Floor Surgery: http://www.flickr.com/photos/mikelitwin/488136448/
Day 48 - Spot on the Wall: http://www.flickr.com/photos/mikelitwin/488136440/in/photostream/

Bring it up in conversation. Find opportunities to drop your green success stories. If your friends are complaining about gas prices, tell them how much your hybrid saves you on gas. If they’re complaining about their electric bill, tell them how much you saved by installing new windows, or that Energy Star AC.

Share your simple tips too, such as washing your clothes on cold or how you unplug your cell phone charger. You probably already swap tips on how to do other things around the house, why stop short of green? Or if you’re out and about with your friends, whip out that canvas shopping bag or that coffee mug you take everywhere, and explain why you bring your own (then give them their own to try out.)

Explain the financial savings. If you can, break down the costs to show how much money someone will save, especially if it translates into near-term savings.

Give green gifts. Whatever the occasion, give an eco-friendly gift. Many green products have a story behind them. Share that story when your gift is opened, or explain the benefits of the product.

Start simple. GO’s Shane Jordan wrote about "How To Give Your Parents ‘The Talk’". He suggests starting simple with just one thing, such as recycling, then providing the tools needed to begin making change, such as a recycling bin.

Shane also writes, "Most importantly, don’t be confrontational. Make suggestions, not demands." On the same note, tread lightly on the gloom and doom factor. Taking the approach, "if you don’t do it we’ll all die," isn’t a very effective way of getting people to act. And don’t be pushy or condescending as that is another big turn off.

Celebrate success. If your friends start showing you the CFL’s in their place, congratulate them. Soon they’ll be sharing all their newfound green knowledge with you.

Have you got your family or friends to switch over to some green ways? How’d you do it?

Amy says: Friends of mine had an out of town visitor who was so impressed by their adamant recycling behavior that when they went to visit her, she apologized for not recycling, but said that she had recently ordered a recycling bin.

Grist: How to Talk to a Climate Skeptic

GO: How to Give Your Parents "The Talk"

GO: Let’s Talk About It!: Green Quandaries