With ye olde cobbler long dead (re-soling Jesus’s Birkenstocks in forgotten profession heaven) and cheap production methods shortening the lives of shoes, Americans have gotten into the habit of pitching worn out (or simply undesired) kicks and buying new ones. Shoe-shopping has become something of a fetish, a joke, an emblem of the spoiled housewife who fills her emotional void with Italian suede.

We could go into Manolos, but we’ll focus here on sporty treads, not just to stay on-topic but because they account for a third of the U.S. shoes market.

The production of athletic shoes is infamously shady, from a human rights perspective. Historically, manufacturing giants such as Nike have followed cheap labor, exploiting workers in developing countries so that they might enjoy enormous profit margins. (Nike has really turned itself around in recent years, however, and is now one of the greener players on the field.)

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Congresswoman Michele Bachmann’s comments about House Speaker Pelosi brought the issue to the front of the line. In her current bout of political tourettes, she had this to say:

“[Pelosi] is committed to her global warming fanaticism to the point where she has said that she’s just trying to save the planet,” Bachmann told news site OneNewsNow. “We all know that someone did that over 2,000 years ago, they saved the planet — we didn’t need Nancy Pelosi to do that.”

Yes, folks…stop recycling, throwout your reusable bags and just let your cars run all day long. For Jesus, yes the one and only Jesus, has already fixed that whole global warming thingamabob.

Mind you, this lady is notorious for her hair-brained explanations. For example, did you know that the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge is now 100% wildlife free? Yep, same great taste but less filling. And this is why the Democrats favor high gas prices:

“They want Americans to take transit and move to the inner cities. They want Americans to move to the urban core, live in tenements, [and] take light rail to their government jobs. That’s their vision for America.”

Yes, Al Gore, dressed a la Dr. Evil, is trying to scare us all in to using light rail. Oh the horror of it all! It’s just too convenient. I mean all of it, if the planet is all saved thanks to Super Jesus then why do I keep getting copies of the Watchtower? Just let the guy do his job, already - no one likes to be micromanaged.

But that’s the rub. We’re not saved. He did not save us. None of it is okay. We must stop denying it like that mom in the jaw-dropping Jesus Camp movie?  We cannot lend ourselves to distractions like the plight of the incandescent bulb. There is no time. Accountability is our only salvation, not Jesus.

So I pray. I pray for Congresswoman Bachmann. I also pray for that crazy mom in the movie. I pray that for whatever bulb they choose, they themselves won’t remain perpetually dim.

Related Posts:

Saving More Than Souls: Religious Groups Seek “Renewal” for the Environment
You’re Either with Us, or You’re with the CFLs : Red, Green, and Blue
Jesus Unplugged: Religious Groups Participate in Earth Hour 2008

Image source: Asemta at Flickr

Leaders of the 16.3 million member Southern Baptist Convention, the largest Protestant group in the United States, said Monday that the denomination has a biblical duty to stop global warming.

Leaders ask: how would Jesus vote?

Related Posts: Thou Shalt Be Green To Be Holy