On April Fools Day, I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy named, Clark. I wrote a post on how to prepare for homebirth and so when the day arrived things fell into place just as planned. The day before I gave birth I’d been experiencing a little cramping. Nothing unusual but the sense a woman gets when her monthly cycle is going to begin. I had a feeling that it was the onset of labor so I told my husband to be prepared to come home (he commutes an hour away). Just after I called him he left work because he too had a feeling. I called him in the early morning before 10AM and we spent the rest of the day taking it easy.

The cramping had subsided by late afternoon. I was 38 weeks and 4 days and ready to have a baby! I didn’t realize that he’d really come on April Fool’s day as some had predicted. That evening I went to bed at 8:30pm and woke up with surprise to what I thought was my water breaking. It turns out that I had a high leak which means that baby Clark only tore my bag of waters rather than rupture it. With my first my water broke and that was that! This time around it was a gradual process.

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For every 100,000 births, 1,600 mothers die; in wealthy countries the rates range from 1 to 12. In one remote northeastern province, Badakhshan, 6,507 mothers die for every 100,000 births, according to a 2005 report in the medical journal Lancet. In all, 26,000 Afghan women a year die while pregnant or giving birth. The main causes of these deaths are hemorrhage and obstructed labor, which can be fatal if a woman cannot obtain a Caesarean section. Even if the mother survives, obstructed labor without a Caesarean usually kills the baby.

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Now that I have your attention, there is an increasing gap between the traditional Western medical community and that of midwife-delivered, woman-based care. A couple of recent articles, in Time and in the LA Times, explore this gap.

Here we are, discussing health care reform, and at the top of that discussion should be the way we bring babies into this world. One Oregonian midwife, Melissa Cheyney, has begun to examine the differences in care.

The U.S. has a limited idea of what it means to have a positive outcome at the end of a delivery. Basically it just means that everyone’s alive.

You’ve heard it, and I know I’ve said it, “You got the prize in the end!” Sure, you have the baby, but did you receive the care that was appropriate to your circumstances?

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I’ve never been a fan of Dr. Phil.  I feel sorry for the people who are so desperate for help that they air their problems on TV, thinking a talk show host will give them the solutions. I admit, I succumbed once hoping Dr. Phil could help potty train my son and watched his show, but as each child is unique. I had to wait for my child’s readiness.  Now, Dr. Phil is seeking out guests to share home birth horror stories.

Did  you have a child at your home?

Did you want to have a soothing experience where you were in control and could bond with your child?

Did it not go the way you planned?

Do you regret having a home birth?

Do you regret using a midwife instead of going to a hospital?

Did you have your second child the traditional way in a hospital?

If you or someone you know regrets having a home birth please tell us your story below.

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The Midwives Alliance of North America (MANA) annual conference will be held in Traverse City, Michigan later this October. MANA is a professional organization for midwives throughout North America. “MANA’s goal is to unify and strengthen the profession of midwifery, thereby improving the quality of health care for women, babies, and communities.”

You can help support the work of midwives.  MANA is working to push legislation in a number of states where the practice of midwifery and homebirth is not fully legal.  While some states have laws that support and encourage the practice of midwifery, many other states are less supportive.  MANA is also advocating for insurance companies to allow homebirth options as a safe, less-expensive and less resource consuming alternative to standard hospital births.

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With my son’s birth, we were living in a large metropolitan area, so I sought out my “dream” birthing scenario: a midwife with a freestanding birthing center. However, thanks to an extremely tight budget and insurance that would only pay for a hospital birth, I wasn’t able to have the birth center experience. But my visits with my midwife, the relationship with my doula, and an extremely supportive hospital staff made my son’s birth just as wonderful.

That is all two hours of the time I was actually laboring at the hospital.

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Early in my first trimester, I got very sick with a fever (one of the hazards of being a teacher).  I went from this illness to morning sickness, and lost 12 pounds those first three months.  Again, the doctor and midwives were concerned I wouldn’t gain weight, but I did in the end, grossing 45 extra pounds.  During my sixth month, I started having contractions.  They felt a little bit more serious than Braxton-Hicks, so my midwives sentenced me to one hour of bedrest in the morning, and one hour in the afternoon.  I was convinced this baby was coming early; he was five days late.

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Almost seven years ago, I gave birth to my daughter.  My pregnancy began with really bad “all day” sickness in the first trimester, where I would watch Dr. Zhivago between trips to the bathroom to puke. My second trimester was grand, as I was big enough to look pregnant and not just fat, and I felt really good. I had the glow. The third trimester was a challenge, as I gained 55 pounds overall and cried when I couldn’t squat long enough to plant my onions. Then, exactly on her due date, my daughter entered the world.

We live in a very remote region of Northern California.  Our closest hospital (that won’t do births) is an hour and half away.  Our midwives would not take the risk of a home birth at our off-the-grid homestead, nor did we feel entirely comfortable with the idea, so we decided rent a house in town for our birth.  A couple was going to Senegal for the summer, so it worked out perfectly that we could use their home for a month. It was about 15 minutes from the closest hospital, although no hospitals on the coast have an neo-natal intensive care unit.  I wanted a home birth, and this was the closest I could get to one.

Everyone feared I would go into labor in the mountains, so several days before my due date, we went to town to wait it out. I was restless and knew I would never go into labor in town, so we returned home.  I went for a long hike, and that night the real contractions began.  I was walking down our driveway as my husband pulled up, and I said, I think it is time to go.  My mother was here, but I feared her driving on the mountain roads, and we needed to take two cars for our dog to accompany us to town and fit everyone. So, I drove myself in labor two hours to the house we rented. My mother and I timed my contractions, but even though they were five minutes apart, I kept on driving (that’s how much I fear my mother’s driving!).

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Herbs that Alleviate Morning Sickness

Ginger is well-known for its nausea reducing qualities, and many women have had success with ginger tea for relieving their morning sickness. The herb I found most useful was peppermint. I drank my own blend of herbs for a pregnancy tea (I’ll be posting that recipe soon!), and the peppermint really made me feel better. You can drink the tea cold or hot, depending on what makes you feel better. Fennel seeds also relieve queasiness, whether in tea or simply chewing on the seeds. Slippery Elm is another herb that may calm your stomach.

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When I first became pregnant 16 years ago, a pregnancy that ended in a miscarriage, I read Ina May’s first book Spiritual Midwifery. Not only was this book full of information on natural pregnancy and childbirth, but it was packed with images and stories of labor, in which the parents saw psychedelic colors and experienced orgasms. I thought that these hippies had done too many drugs and were just having flashbacks, but by the time I read her second book Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth before the birth of my second child, I decided to try out some of the visualizations described in the birth stories.

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According to Wikipedia, “A doula is an experienced, non-medical assistant who provides physical, emotional and informed choice support in prenatal care, during childbirth and during the postpartum period.” Dona International further explains:

Giving birth to a baby is so much more than a physical phenomenon; it engages parents-to-be in a transformational experience, a key life event full of emotion and meaning. A doula who accompanies a woman in labor mothers the mother, taking care of her emotional needs throughout childbirth. A doula also provides support and suggestions for partners that can enhance their experiences of birth. A postpartum doula continues that valuable emotional support and guidance, helping a family make a smooth transition into new family dynamics.

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I have read many books on natural childbirth, such as Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth and Special Delivery. When I saw olive oil on my midwives’ list, I assumed it was for massaging the perineum to prevent tearing during labor. After my first child was born; however, I discovered the real reason every newborn’s parent should have olive oil on hand.

A newborn baby’s first stools are called meconium. Meconium is a dark, tar-like substance created in the baby’s digestive system in utero from ingesting amniotic fluid, epithelial cells, etc. In fact, the term meconium is derived from the term meconium-arion, meaning “opium-like”, because of its thick, dark appearance.

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One of the blessings of a midwife is the continued presence in her life as your children grow. Our midwife shared with me standingwomen.org and their plans for today, based on the story of The Great Silent Grandmother Gathering: A Story for Anyone Who Thinks She Can’t Save the World. “We will be standing for the world’s children and grandchildren, and for the seven generations beyond them. We dream of a world where all of our children have safe drinking water, clean air to breathe, and enough food to eat. A world where they have access to a basic education to develop their minds and healthcare to nurture their growing bodies. A world where they have a warm, safe, and loving place to call home. A world where they don’t live in fear of violence–in their home, in their neighborhood, in their school, or in their world. This is the world of which we dream. This is the cause for which we will stand. If you share this dream, please stand with us for five minutes of silence at 1 p.m. your local time on May 13, 2007, in your local park, school yard, gathering place, or any place you deem appropriate, to signify your agreement with this statement. We ask you to invite the men and boys who you care about to join you. We ask that you bring bells to ring at 1 p.m. to signify the beginning of the five minutes of silence and to ring again to signify the end of the period of silence. During the silence, please think about
what you individually and we collectively can do to attain this world. If you need to sit rather than stand, please feel free to do so. Afterwards, hopefully you and your loved ones can talk together about how we can bring about this world”

Previously, I thought that Mother’s Day was just another Hallmark holiday, and that we need to honor our mothers every day. I have since learned that Mother’s Day was created to unite women in peace after the Civil War. In 1870, social activist and poet Julia Ward Howe wrote the original Mother’s Day Proclamation:

Arise then…women of this day!
Arise, all women who have hearts!
Whether your baptism be of water or of tears!
Say firmly:
“We will not have questions answered by irrelevant agencies,
Our husbands will not come to us, reeking with carnage,
For caresses and applause.
Our sons shall not be taken from us to unlearn
All that we have been able to teach them of charity, mercy and patience.
We, the women of one country,
Will be too tender of those of another country
To allow our sons to be trained to injure theirs.”

From the bosum of a devastated Earth a voice goes up with
Our own. It says: “Disarm! Disarm!
The sword of murder is not the balance of justice.”
Blood does not wipe our dishonor,
Nor violence indicate possession.
As men have often forsaken the plough and the anvil at the summons of war,
Let women now leave all that may be left of home
For a great and earnest day of counsel.
Let them meet first, as women, to bewail and commemorate the dead.
Let them solemnly take counsel with each other as to the means
Whereby the great human family can live in peace…
Each bearing after his own time the sacred impress, not of Caesar,
But of God -
In the name of womanhood and humanity, I earnestly ask
That a general congress of women without limit of nationality,
May be appointed and held at someplace deemed most convenient
And the earliest period consistent with its objects,
To promote the alliance of the different nationalities,
The amicable settlement of international questions,
The great and general interests of peace.

Mother’s Day is about peace, not flowers and gifts. As Gloria Steinem said, “Mother’s Day is a an antiwar day, and antiwar statement.” Let is us send prayers of peace to to all of the mothers whose children are fighting in wars, growing up with wars raging around them, or with terrorism threatening their safety. Let’s pray for strength, peace and hope for this Mother’s Day. I would like to send a special prayer to my friend Jen, who lost her husband and father of two small children on this day two years ago.