By Derek Markham •
August 4, 2008
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A comedian said “It used to be an entertainment center. Now it’s a juice bar.” Boobies and babies and breastmilk will take over your life, so make it fun and enjoyable for all of you. Just don’t ask for cream for your coffee…
Making the change from just the two of you to a threesome can be challenging, but when you see your partner contentedly nursing, and your child peacefully sleeping on her lap, it’s fulfilling as well.
Breastfeeding is an integral part of natural or attachment parenting. Fathers can support their partners and babies by being in touch with their needs and meeting them in a mindful way.
If mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy!
I heard that saying many times before I saw the truth in it.
When a woman is pregnant and her body is working overtime, she’ll love you for taking the time to nurture her. A lot of new dads don’t really understand the changes that are happening to their lover, and it can be hard to remember to take the time to nurture and embrace her. Sure, picking up after yourself helps, but I’m not talking about the house, I’m talking about her.
3 Nurturing Tips for New Dads
- Touch her. Give her a massage, even if it’s only for fifteen minutes. Start with the neck and upper back, spend some time working the hips and back of the pelvis, and end with a foot rub. You don’t need any massage experience for this, just strong hands, willingness, and love. For bonus points, heat a tub of water for a foot bath, add a couple of drops of lavender oil, maybe rose petals if you’ve got them, and let her soak her feet while you massage her neck.
When my wife and I had our first baby, I wasn’t so sure about co-sleeping. I read about it in conjunction with attachment parenting, and the idea made sense to me, but the thought of an infant in the bed with us brought up a bunch of different issues. It turns out that most, if not all, of these issues were a result of paying too much attention to the media and not trusting our natural family instincts.
We’ve been co-sleeping with all of our children (not all at the same time- we have a one-out, one-in policy) for almost 11 years now, and I love it. However, I do get asked about it by new dads who are not quite sure that it’s safe or beneficial for the child. “Cloth diapers, I get. Breastfeeding makes sense. Babywearing could work for me. But having an infant in the bed with us? I don’t know…”
Here’s my take on co-sleeping issues.
