Green Options

Happy Left Handers Day to my wife Heather and to all the rest of you who write with the wrong hand.

Hey Diggers! Here’s reason #42 why this site is better than yours.

My weekly non-green bit of bizarrary brings us to Germany and the scene of one of the creepiest ways to die around…

A MAN who lived in his own “zoo” of lizards and insects was fatally bitten by a pet black widow spider — then eaten by the other creepy-crawlies.

Police broke in to Mark Voegel’s apartment to find spider Bettina along with 200 others, several snakes, a gecko lizard called Helmut and several thousand termites had gorged on his body.

Neighbours alerted police after becoming alarmed by the stink.

And horrified officers were met by a nightmare scene.

A police spokesman said: “It was like a horror movie. His corpse was over the sofa.

“Giant webs draped him, spiders were all over him. They were coming out of his nose and his mouth.

“There was everything there one could imagine in the world of reptiles.

“Larger pieces of flesh torn off by the lizards were scooped up and taken back to the webs of tarantulas and other bird-eating spiders.”

I am so ashamed of our moronic, mean spirited, dumbass President. At a recent press conference at Camp David, Bush channeled his inner 9 year old and ripped on the BBC’s political editor Nick Robinson for being bald.

Later on, Bush poked fun at the bare-pate of Robinson, joking, “You’d better cover up your bald head, it’s getting hot out.”

The respected British reporter shot back, “I didn’t know you cared.”

Bush responded with a cool, “I don’t.” The Mirror reports that Bush then “snorted disdainfully” and “walked away to laughter.”

I promise you, I am not making this up. This is not from the Onion.

GM hired Rush Limbaugh to do a radio ad about how Green a company they are.

Rush Limbaugh. The fat drug addict right-wing hypocrite ignorant jerkass blowhard.

GM. The most un-green company this side of Monsanto, the one that builds gas guzzling monster cars and blocks any bump in fuel efficiency standards, the one that Killed the Electric Car.

Green. The simple idea that we shouldn’t poison and destroy the world we live in.

It’s rare to find those things together in a sentence, rarer still to find them together without a lot of “nots”, “aren’ts”, and “scoffed at” in between.

Seriously, this actually happened.

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The Green movement needs Paris Hilton like I need a hole in the head. Don’t get me wrong, I am not a Paris Hilton hater. I think she’s done remarkably well and is either a secretly shrewd person or has some really good handlers. She’s turned herself into a mega valuable brand and for as stupid and shallow as she seems (and may well be), you can’t knock her success in her field (being a [...]

I reserve the right to post something once a week or so that has nothing to do with saving the world, the environment, or green.

Here’s a video of 1,500 inmates at the Cebu Provincial Detention and Rehabilitation Center in Cebu, Philippines practicing a large scale recreation of Michael Jackson’s Thriller.

[youtube:http://youtube.com/watch?v=hMnk7lh9M3o]