Green Options » not green

Happy Left Handers Day

Noelle dEstries — Mon, 13 Aug 2007 11:55:26 +0000

Happy Left Handers Day to my wife Heather and to all the rest of you who write with the wrong hand.

Worst way to die. Ever.

Noelle dEstries — Wed, 08 Aug 2007 20:00:54 +0000

Hey Diggers! Here’s reason #42 why this site is better than yours.

My weekly non-green bit of bizarrary brings us to Germany and the scene of one of the creepiest ways to die around…

A MAN who lived in his own “zoo” of lizards and insects was fatally bitten by a pet black widow spider — then eaten by the other creepy-crawlies.

Police broke in to Mark Voegel’s apartment to find spider Bettina along with 200 others, several snakes, a gecko lizard called Helmut and several thousand termites had gorged on his body.

Neighbours alerted police after becoming alarmed by the stink.

And horrified officers were met by a nightmare scene.

A police spokesman said: “It was like a horror movie. His corpse was over the sofa.

“Giant webs draped him, spiders were all over him. They were coming out of his nose and his mouth.

“There was everything there one could imagine in the world of reptiles.

“Larger pieces of flesh torn off by the lizards were scooped up and taken back to the webs of tarantulas and other bird-eating spiders.”

George W. Bush is a Jerk of a Bully

Noelle dEstries — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 14:14:19 +0000

I am so ashamed of our moronic, mean spirited, dumbass President. At a recent press conference at Camp David, Bush channeled his inner 9 year old and ripped on the BBC’s political editor Nick Robinson for being bald.

Later on, Bush poked fun at the bare-pate of Robinson, joking, “You’d better cover up your bald head, it’s getting hot out.”

The respected British reporter shot back, “I didn’t know you cared.”

Bush responded with a cool, “I don’t.” The Mirror reports that Bush then “snorted disdainfully” and “walked away to laughter.”

Tales from the Bizarro World: What if General Motors Hired Rush Limbaugh to promote how Green they are?

Noelle dEstries — Mon, 30 Jul 2007 19:58:09 +0000

I promise you, I am not making this up. This is not from the Onion.

GM hired Rush Limbaugh to do a radio ad about how Green a company they are.

Rush Limbaugh. The fat drug addict right-wing hypocrite ignorant jerkass blowhard.

GM. The most un-green company this side of Monsanto, the one that builds gas guzzling monster cars and blocks any bump in fuel efficiency standards, the one that Killed the Electric Car.

Green. The simple idea that we shouldn’t poison and destroy the world we live in.

It’s rare to find those things together in a sentence, rarer still to find them together without a lot of “nots”, “aren’ts”, and “scoffed at” in between.

Seriously, this actually happened.

Listen to the ad here.

Paris Hilton should shut her stupid pie hole about going Green

Noelle dEstries — Fri, 27 Jul 2007 10:58:20 +0000

The Green movement needs Paris Hilton like I need a hole in the head. Don’t get me wrong, I am not a Paris Hilton hater. I think she’s done remarkably well and is either a secretly shrewd person or has some really good handlers. She’s turned herself into a mega valuable brand and for as stupid and shallow as she seems (and may well be), you can’t knock her success in her field (being a stupid spoiled whore).

But great Yoda almighty Paris, stay away from Green. Drive your free Ford hybrid SUV, knock yourself out with recycling, but please don’t talk about it. You suck as a green role model and just come off sounding like… well… a stupid spoiled whore. That goes for you too Madonna.

From Ecorazzi:

Standing on the sidelines while everyone’s attention is focused on gal-pal Lindsay Lohan’s troubles, Paris Hilton has been quietly addressing her new image makeover/lesson learned lifestyle.

First up, some new wheels. While the hotel heiress was attending BPM Music Magazine’s “green party” in LA the other night, she announced, “I’m getting a car from Ford, a hybrid one. They gave me one. So, I think driving hybrid cars is the new way to go, and recycling.”

From the Non-Green Files:The Thriller Dance as performed by a thousand+ Filipinio Inmates

Noelle dEstries — Fri, 20 Jul 2007 20:27:24 +0000

I reserve the right to post something once a week or so that has nothing to do with saving the world, the environment, or green.

Here’s a video of 1,500 inmates at the Cebu Provincial Detention and Rehabilitation Center in Cebu, Philippines practicing a large scale recreation of Michael Jackson’s Thriller.

[youtube:http://youtube.com/watch?v=hMnk7lh9M3o]