Green Options

You know those moments:  your child is on the verge of a meltdown, you’re away from home, out of food, running late, and you’re tired and cranky as well?

They suck, right?

Even seasoned parents get caught off-guard, and we still have moments, but we’re getting better at dealing with it. Beyond bringing water and food with us (plus numerous washcloths and clothes), we try to also have little extras to engage the youngest. Paper and pen, little toys, her doll… But all of those things are familiar to her.

So I have the “papa bag”. Actually the “special papa bag”.

Recently, we’ve received a lot of information on products claiming to be great parental substitutes to compensate when mothers feel guilty for having to leave their anxious babies. These range from stuffed animals with beating hearts to literally, a stuffed hand called Zaky.

The greatest concern for me personally is that these objects may be misconstrued as a replacement for a live human, and there is not a good alternative to having a consistent mothering person available as often as possible in the first year of a child’s development.

While it may not be possible for a parent to stay home with the child at all times, there are other options:

• If you or your partner cannot afford to take time off of work or work from home to be with your child, you are certainly not alone, but several employers may be willing to work with you to telecommute a couple of days a week. This not only helps reduce the cost of daycare but also give you more time with your new baby.
• Hiring a nanny is the next best option, although it is also expensive to have full time private care. By having one other person fully focused on caring for the baby, the child is allowed to feel merged with the mother and father in the morning and evenings and isn’t jarred when he/she is left in the hands of a familiar nanny, who acts as a stand-in “mothering person.”
• If daycare is the only option for you once your child is old enough, then make sure that you take into account the ratio of daycare helpers to students. A good rule of thumb is three children per day care helper so that you know your child is not being neglected during the day and is getting enough personal attention.