Passive Aggressive Notes to My Husband for Valentine’s Day
Dear Husband,
I know it’s difficult being married to me. I won’t eat fast food, partially hydrogenated anything, red dye or any other Frankenfood. A box of chocolates will just send me into orbit because of the high fructose corn syrup and cut flowers leaves me cold.
I did make a few itsy, bitsy requests of you last week. But really, Valentine’s Day is like my Superbowl, and I’m getting all excited about it.
Darlin’ I want a dog. Yeah, I know, no dogs because puppies keep you up all night, pee all over the carpet and gnaw at the kids’ toys.
Guess what? I can totally fix that. I want Jimmy! Jimmy is potty trained and little (doesn’t eat much), he’ll occupy the right side of my lap (I’ve got one for the left), he doesn’t shed AND I doubt he has many teeth left.
