I had two natural hospital births. The first was empowering, a group of women cheering me on while I pushed. For the second, in the 10 whole minutes I was pushing, I was instructed to stop so they could get a read on his heart and prep the room. I can only imagine what fun we would have had if I’d been there longer.
For both, I thought I could run a marathon afterward, if I didn’t have to breastfeed immediately! I was strong and able.
But I’m one of the lucky ones. I was given a good birth legacy, a “Your body is capable. It can do this!” (Thanks, Mom.) Many are not so lucky. They are told that labor and delivery will be scary, painful, unmanageable without medications.
I think for most people birth is a nightmare
It hasn’t been what a baby would want.
In our births, is it only about us? When are we going to start asking, “What does baby want?”
When I first got pregnant, I remember my mother sending me tons of books, as well as perusing the pregnancy aisle at the library and bookstore. There is a plethora of labor books out there, but not all of them support natural birth, especially home birth. Thankfully, my midwives had a lending library, and one book Special Delivery was required reading. In this list of essential books for natural birth, I’ve also included two books by Ina May that were highly recommended as well by my midwives.
What makes a pregnancy book essential reading for natural birth? I think a natural birth book should support all women’s choices, both home and hospital births, as well as carefully explain all of the interventions that could happen if medically needed. The book should support women, as well as realistically discuss how each labor is unique.
Essential Books for a Natural Birth
Special Deliveryby Rahima Baldwin: This book can be hard to find, but it is well worth the hunt. This book prepares you for all aspects of a home or hospital birth, and we read many times to be prepared in case we didn’t make it town in time during my labors. My first child was a breech baby, but she turned thanks to this book! Rahima explains an exercise where mother’s lay with on their backs, knees bent, and pelvis highly elevated. When followed precisely, this method turns babies 85% of the time. It worked for my daughter, and I have this book to thank!
It’s probably going against the grain to be talking about pain medication in a natural parenting blog, and one of the few writers this week that would probably advocate non-natural childbirth; but I always knew that epidural was going to be my drug of choice when the time came to give birth. Two distinct memories of labor and birth came from my mother and childhood best friend. I was three weeks overdue, and by the the time my mother delivered me; I was over ten pounds. She would regale in the horror of the labor and how terrified she was of her next birth, my brother. My best friend had a child right out of high school. I remember her telling me how it was the worst pain she had ever been in her life. With those two very painful experiences; I decided that I would DEFINITELY get an epidural, no doubt about it. I would always joke, first sign of contraction, I am rushing myself to the hospital so they could stick a needle in my back. Of course, I never expected to be induced either.
I waited a long time to have a child. Although I am only couple months shy of thirty; I am the last of my siblings, who are of rightful childbirthing age, to have a baby. My brothers would often ask me, when I would settle down and be a mother. I had no interest in settling down. I loved traveling and loved my life as a single girl in the city. However that changed when I met my baby’s father. Things progressed pretty quickly for us, and not even a year after we became a couple; I was pregnant. I suffered through the hell of first trimester, the bliss of second, and the ridiculous weight gain of third. We started laughing one night because my feet were SO swollen, they looked like Fred Flinstones. Then there was the waiting game. Waiting patiently for my daughter to make her entrance into the world. Eight days past her due date, and still no sign of our daughter; an induction was scheduled. Although I had always planned for an epidural; the induction didn’t play into the equation. I tried everything from sex to chocolates to induce naturally. No avail, on April 1st at 7:30 in the morning; we arrived at Moses Taylor Hospital in Scranton, PA with my trusty pillow.
One of the things I loved about working with midwives is that each visit lasted 45 minutes. From your sex life to your diet, midwives are very thorough. I have parallel care with an MD for blood work; however, I opted out of most testing. I never had an ultrasound or many of the other recommended tests, because I was committed to having my child, no matter what might be wrong with him/her. My good friend was also pregnant at the time, and she had a horrible pregnancy of constant worry and trips to the bay area for level 2 ultrasounds. She was told her child might have down’s syndrome, then was told the baby only had half a kidney. In the end, her daughter was born healthy, but I remember at the time thinking, there could be something wrong with my baby, and I wouldn’t know it. It turns out I was right.
Early in my first trimester, I got very sick with a fever (one of the hazards of being a teacher). I went from this illness to morning sickness, and lost 12 pounds those first three months. Again, the doctor and midwives were concerned I wouldn’t gain weight, but I did in the end, grossing 45 extra pounds. During my sixth month, I started having contractions. They felt a little bit more serious than Braxton-Hicks, so my midwives sentenced me to one hour of bedrest in the morning, and one hour in the afternoon. I was convinced this baby was coming early; he was five days late.
I decided early on in my pregnancy that I would have an epidural if need be. I fully support anyone who has a natural birth, but for me that was a level of pain that I did not wish to experience.
Funny how best laid plans always go awry isn’t it?
So we were two weeks from our due date and family had just arrived “just in case” I delivered early. My husband went with me for the weekly check-in with the doctor. After listening for the baby’s heartbeat she pulled me up from the exam table, told me to throw my clothes on and get to the hospital right away - she’d have a team ready to meet me (the hospital was next door to her office). Words blurred, but I managed to remain calm and understood only that the heart rate was not what it should be.
