Green Options

Writers Note: I wrote Breastfeeding Experience from A Green Girl and First Time Mom …
soon after my daughter was born to chronicle my beginning journey as a first time mother and a breastfeeding one. This is a follow up as a mother of a 14 month old and still a breastfeeding mother.

The American Pediatric Association* recommends breastfeeding for at least a year, but the World Health Organization** wants the nursing mother to go longer to two years minimum; longer if the mother and baby wishes. However, when Layla’s first birthday was approaching {and some way before that}; I got asked that dreaded question, “How long do you intend to nurse?” by well meaning relatives, friends, and even strangers. Good question. I gave myself a year tops to devote to the art of breastfeeding. I just couldn’t see myself being my baby’s feeding station longer than that, but now at fourteen months; we are still breastfeeding with no intentions to wean anytime soon.

The beginning of our breastfeeding journey like for many new mother was rocky with lots of ups and downs. There were days when I wondered how I would make it up to a year; climbing a Mount Everest seemed liked an easier feat. With engorged breast, cracked nipples, and gushing milk that sprayed my baby’s face due to overactive let down; the first weeks {even months} were the most challenging. Oddly enough, as time went on; breastfeeding got much easier. I can honestly say that decision to breastfeed and continue to breastfeed was the best decision I made as parent. It really is the holy grail of parenting. I remember during my six week check up, the prenatal nurse confided in me that she nursed for years. She whispered to me with sincere conviction, “There really is nothing like it.”

Bit of a WARNING: Though I’m not too graphic, I’m discussing something that makes many a tummy turn. Might want to put down that breakfast for a moment!

One of the hazards of natural living: you probably know someone who ate the placenta.

Officially, it’s called placentophagy: the act of mammals eating their own placenta after giving birth. Even herbivore mammals and our cousins, the gorillas.

Even if you don’t know someone who did this, you may have at least seen the blog story from MomLogic.com about twin sisters Kathy and Chrissy who shared a placenta feast (including leftovers). To your considerable gag reflex.

For what it’s worth, I don’t think these women necessarily deserve all the hatin‘ they’re getting. I don’t believe they are “cannibals” or “vampires” or some of the other nasty comments following the blog, though the collective “ICK!” of the commentators was funny.

I agree with some of the more positive thoughts: If you eat meat and are so far removed from your food, why are you disgusted by this nutrient-rich “meal”? As someone rightly pointed out, this is the only “meat” that comes from life, not death.

Personally? I wouldn’t do it. Not ’til I grow a tail. If you consider yourself crunchy but can’t stomach the placenta eatin’, let’s explore some other options, shall we?

I always knew I would be the poster child for Postpartum depression. I struggled with depression since my freshman year in college (although I didn’t know what it was back then; I called it homesickness) and had a major relapse in 2003 after a breakup of a significant live-in relationship. It was then I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder II. Bipolar disorder II is different from Bipolar I because I would have hypomanic stage, I wasn’t flat out blabbering, streaking the town naked crazy; but I would get very creative and felt as if I was on top of the world. A state that I quite liked, but I disliked the depressive state; so hence the medication. After couple months of being on mood stabilizer and anti-depressants, I decided that life through chemistry was not me. I joined a yoga class and that was very anti-meds.

However, after the birth of our daughter, Layla. My mental state quickly became a concern for the entire family. Whereas before, I loved blurring the line of insanity; it was not appropriate for a mother of a newborn. I was quickly developing overly anxious attitude towards my daughter. I felt angry and cheated. I resented my baby. I loved her but hearing her cry one more second would make me want to throw her across the room. Scared by these incredibly powerful emotions; I sought help. Since I wanted to continue breastfeeding, medication was put off the side in lieu of talk therapy. Talking to my therapist helped but there was still that underlying anger and frustration. Then the significant other got a job in West Palm and we drove over 1500 miles to start a new life. The move had me go into a total mental breakdown. I did not trust myself around my daughter. I was ready to have myself committed. The only reason I didn’t commit myself was because I wanted to continue breastfeeding. It was the only thing, I felt, that I could offer to my daughter.

Instead of committing myself, We decided to seek help out of pocket. I found a psychologist and was referred to a psychiatrist. Both recommended that I go on medication… pronto. Although it really went against everything I believed in; for the sake of my daughter, I agreed. I was put on Symbyax which is Prozac combined with anti-psychotic, Olanzapine. This stuff wasn’t for the meek. It was for the flat out crazies, and Sadly, I am one of them. The psychiatrist and the psychologist both strongly suggested that I wean my daughter, but at four months of nursing; I was not ready to do so. I don’t think my daughter was ready to be weaned either. We played around with the idea of supplementing with formula, but I just couldn’t do it.

This led me to do some research on my own and also a mother’s intuition knowing that my daughter will be fine as long as I took it at night, was careful not to nurse her during the peak dosage and work with her pediatrician. This is of course not a lighthearted decision. I do have my moments of doubt especially when I read the label which warns that medication does get into the breastmilk; so therefore, should not be used when breastfeeding. However I came across several research which concludes that

The benefits of breastfeeding far outweigh the risk of anti-depressant medication. Infact, a mother who is untreated for postpartum depression can be a greater hazard than a medicated mother on Anti-depressants