By Levi Novey •
August 7, 2008
There are many challenges that stay-at-home dads face. It should go without saying that one of the major battles is keeping one’s self-esteem and confidence high when societal norms have typically only allowed for women to be the primary caretakers of children. Many people still feel that this is the case.
As one father told me just weeks after my own daughter was born, “You have to realize, Levi, you really aren’t that important in the first year. It’s all about mom.” Of course, it makes sense that the bond between mother and baby should be stronger initially than that between the father and baby. As a father, you have not had your child growing inside you and using your body as his or her source of nourishment and as his or her protective home. But I still wonder, is it really fair to say that the first year is all about mom? And what does this mean for stay-at-home dads?
By Jennifer Lance •
August 5, 2008
My daughter was born on her due date, into water during an assisted home birth, and weighed nine and half pounds! After my beautiful daughter was born, we immediately brought her to the breast. She latched on in a supine position, which amazed my midwives. I was in sheer bliss.
I read tons of natural pregnancy books, but I had neglected to really read about breastfeeding. I was more worried about labor then breastfeeding, as I thought nursing would just occur naturally, and it did (although this was not the case with my second child). I did read the Nursing Mother’s Companion, which I highly recommend. The most important thing I learned in this book was to NEVER wear an underwire bra while lactating. The wire can cut off your milk ducts and lead to nasty mastitis. It happened to a friend of mine, and I still wonder why doctors don’t tell their patients the dangers of the wrong bra.
My daughter quickly gained weight, and her cheeks grew to the size of melons. I began to fear I was overfeeding her and that she might become obese. My midwives tried to squelch my fears and called her “healthy”, but since I couldn’t measure how much milk she was getting, my anxiety got the better of me. I kept breastfeeding, despite these fears, despite cracked nipples and an occasional blocked milk duct, through the uncontrolled let down of milk pouring out.
There are many challenges that stay-at-home dads face. It should go without saying that one of the major battles is keeping one’s self-esteem and confidence high when societal norms have typically only allowed for women to be the primary caretakers of children. Many people still feel that this is the case.
