Green Options

Although I am a bird lover, and although I will bear the figurative feathers of the Virginia Tech hokie for life, I have no real affection for wild turkeys. So the graceless gobblers I have been crossing paths with lately did not stop my heart or steal my breath. They did not, like so many other birds and wildlife, send my spirit into spiraled flight or get me all inspired.

Or did they? After all, here I am writing about them. And, as I have discovered, there are some quite interesting tidbits about turkeys. Here are a few:

• Not only can turkeys fly, however awkwardly, but they actually roost up in trees at night.
• Benjamin Franklin, known for his wisdom and inventiveness and diplomacy, was an unabashed advocate for making the wild turkey America’s national bird. Indeed, he wrote some rather scathing criticisms of the bald eagle, though ultimately in vain. (In the long run, it may be best that Franklin and the wild turkey lost out, since patriotic sentimentality was crucial in saving the bald eagle from extinction. At the same time, though, perhaps America would have better luck with foreign policy if the wild turkey were its symbol. I personally would much rather have the U.S. criticized as “The Great Turkey” than the “The Great Satan”! And perhaps this bird might have given a different spirit to our approach to foreign policy in the first place….)
• Turkeys are extremely curious birds. When it rains, they will stare up into the sky as if pondering the mystery of water droplets hitting them in the face. This habit led to the old wives’ tale that, unlike their promoter Gentle Ben, they were extremely and tragically stupid–so stupid that they would drown themselves by staring up into the rain too long!

Now, almost everyone knows Hans Christian Anderson’s fairytale “The Ugly Duckling.” Unfortunately, the metaphor just does not extend to turkeys. Turkeys are plain old ugly from the egg to the grave. What with that gangly neck, the funky wattle and snood flapping from their heads…and that face! Sorry, turkey fans, but I just am not going to put a poster featuring that mug up on my wall.

Still, me being me, I cannot help pondering these things a bit more as the turkeys run to and fro, gobbling like mad as I walk by. I mean, however “ugly” I think they are, there are still turkeys aplenty doing their little turkey trot day in and day out. There are still little ugly turkey chicks turning into big ugly turkey adults. There are still those strange turkey gobbles coming out of the woods.